Okay, I can't believe I'm even writing this, but here goes.
Even before I found out I was having twin girls, I had two girl names picked out. I was so certain these were the names, that I even had them embroidered on the Pottery Barn diaper bags I bought. I never wavered--I just knew they were the names.
When we went into the hospital, I decided it might be wise just to have a couple of names as backup--just in case we looked at the babies and the names we had chosen didn't fit. I took a short list with me, but didn't think I would use it.
After the girls were born, I wasn't able to see them until the next day. During this time, I fretted over one of the names I had planned to use all along. I knew without a doubt that Kate would be one of the names, but the other one, Caroline, I started doubting. Someone said something to me about the fact that they would always be called Carolyn (which, I don't care for), and added to the steady drip of morphine and discombobulated hormones I panicked. Why do we name children while in the hospital? Maybe it's just me, but making a life-long decision while under the influence may not be the best thing. :)
So, I named her Emma. Which for the record, wasn't even on my official short list. I had never in my life even considered actually using it as a name. I remember thinking about it, but not giving it much credence. Not that I don't like it, in fact, I think it's a beautiful name, it just wasn't one I thought I would use.
I did use Caroline as her middle name, because I still loved it so much I wanted it a part of her.
Ever since that day, I have regretted it. I thought about changing it back to Caroline right after she was born, and every 6 months or so I have seriously considered it. Every time I see or hear the name Caroline, it reminds me, and I wish that I used it. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a friend that started me thinking about it all over again. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about it. Was she "supposed" to be Emma" Or was I totally out-of-it and changed it wrongly? Logically, I know she can be either one, and it really doesn't make a huge difference, but I want it to feel right. I want to call her her name, and know it fits.
So, I'm at a crossroads. If I am going to change it, it has to be NOW. Like this week. She turned 2 a few months ago, but I think she's still young enough to have it work. I wouldn't want it any later than this though, and I'm tired of always thinking about it. I want to make a decision, and follow through with it. I actually call her Emma-Caroline most of the time, and she will answer to either name. Even Kate calls her that, and knows who I'm talking about when I do. For our family I don't think it would be a big deal, but with other people I'm thinking it may be difficult to do.
So, I need your help. I have a few options: 1) leave her name as Emma, 2) hyphenate her name and call her Emma-Caroline, 3) start calling her Caroline. Should I even consider it? Or have a I made my bed and need to live with it? I have gone back and forth for days, and now I really need some perspective. Please tell me your opinion, and the pros and cons you can think of. I need to make a decision and move on--and let her be who she is. So, what do you think--is she an Emma, Caroline, or Emma-Caroline?
Even before I found out I was having twin girls, I had two girl names picked out. I was so certain these were the names, that I even had them embroidered on the Pottery Barn diaper bags I bought. I never wavered--I just knew they were the names.
When we went into the hospital, I decided it might be wise just to have a couple of names as backup--just in case we looked at the babies and the names we had chosen didn't fit. I took a short list with me, but didn't think I would use it.
After the girls were born, I wasn't able to see them until the next day. During this time, I fretted over one of the names I had planned to use all along. I knew without a doubt that Kate would be one of the names, but the other one, Caroline, I started doubting. Someone said something to me about the fact that they would always be called Carolyn (which, I don't care for), and added to the steady drip of morphine and discombobulated hormones I panicked. Why do we name children while in the hospital? Maybe it's just me, but making a life-long decision while under the influence may not be the best thing. :)
So, I named her Emma. Which for the record, wasn't even on my official short list. I had never in my life even considered actually using it as a name. I remember thinking about it, but not giving it much credence. Not that I don't like it, in fact, I think it's a beautiful name, it just wasn't one I thought I would use.
I did use Caroline as her middle name, because I still loved it so much I wanted it a part of her.
Ever since that day, I have regretted it. I thought about changing it back to Caroline right after she was born, and every 6 months or so I have seriously considered it. Every time I see or hear the name Caroline, it reminds me, and I wish that I used it. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a friend that started me thinking about it all over again. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about it. Was she "supposed" to be Emma" Or was I totally out-of-it and changed it wrongly? Logically, I know she can be either one, and it really doesn't make a huge difference, but I want it to feel right. I want to call her her name, and know it fits.
So, I'm at a crossroads. If I am going to change it, it has to be NOW. Like this week. She turned 2 a few months ago, but I think she's still young enough to have it work. I wouldn't want it any later than this though, and I'm tired of always thinking about it. I want to make a decision, and follow through with it. I actually call her Emma-Caroline most of the time, and she will answer to either name. Even Kate calls her that, and knows who I'm talking about when I do. For our family I don't think it would be a big deal, but with other people I'm thinking it may be difficult to do.
So, I need your help. I have a few options: 1) leave her name as Emma, 2) hyphenate her name and call her Emma-Caroline, 3) start calling her Caroline. Should I even consider it? Or have a I made my bed and need to live with it? I have gone back and forth for days, and now I really need some perspective. Please tell me your opinion, and the pros and cons you can think of. I need to make a decision and move on--and let her be who she is. So, what do you think--is she an Emma, Caroline, or Emma-Caroline?
14 comments:
I vote leave it as Emma or hypenate it to Emma-Caroline. Won't her blessing certificate be different then? Or are you just changing her birth cert?. I would think Emma-Caroline would be good b/c she could use either one.
I like Emma better, and I think Emma-Caroline is cute... especially when she's in trouble. ;)
I guess I think Emma and Kate go together much better than Caroline and Kate, and even though they will always be their own people, they will always be twins.
I have found that when something is bothering me and it keeps coming back to me over and over again that it means I need to act on it. That is my advice to you if it has bothered you for 2 years it probably will continue to do so. Act on it.
As a side note Emma is a Caroline she is dainty, petite, very feminine all the things I think about when I hear the name Caroline.
I love the names you chose for your girls. Emma and Kate just sounds so good. I do also like Emma-Caroline together. My personal advice, you named her Emma, call her that. Coming from me who has a different name than I have ever been called, I often wonder why my parents didn't just name me Nikki. My dad also has the same problem. He is D. Steven and for official records he always has to be D. and he hates it. He still says he wishes his parents would have just named him the name they wanted to call him first instead of second. It's totally your choice of course, but I think
Emma is dang cute and she totally fits it as her own little person and together with her twin sister I love the way Kate and Emma sound.
That is a tricky one! Either name is beautiful, I think if you do choose to change it you will still have many people calling her Emma out of habit. Maybe if you started calling her Emma-Caroline all of the time it could be an easier transition for when you start saying Caroline, because others would be used to hearing the name. When I was born everyone called me Missi. This is certainly not as big of an adjustment, however, when I turned four I informed my mother that I was NOT Missi I wanted to be called Melissa. To this day my Aunts still call me Missi (and parents of my friends from when I was young). It doesn't bother me, but I know that is why it is still attached to me. That was what they knew me by and still call me by. Best of luck in your choice :)
Tough call. I'm still not sure we named Bennett the right thing. I don't know if I could change it after 2 years, though. Good luck!
Hi this is Jill (Sarah Thompson's cousin from the Bay City ward). I could write a book on this subject so I will try to keep this as brief as I can so I am not. I had some very similar experiences with naming my children. (If you want I can tell you my stories) My advice is this ... PICK THE NAME YOU LOVE!!! My mother gave me that advice when I had children because she had a name for me then ended up letting my grandfather pick and I so wish she would of named me what she wanted, she wishes she would of to this day also and I am now 32 years old. LOL. It sounds like you LOVE Caroline.. so I say go for it!! How about Caroline Emma?
P.S. Would you be interested in selling you blue jean couches? I really like them.
I think I'd just start calling her Caroline. I think it is a beautiful name, and it is still her middle name. My Grandpa was always referred to as his middle name, and I love that one, it is just very endearing to me. Both are very cute names!
I'm sorry, I don't know what I would do. I have to say I know lots of people who are called by names different than what they were officially "named".
Do whatever YOU feel is best. (My daughter wasn't named until after I went home and thought about it ) Not sure if you can do that today.
Thanks all of you, for your advice, input, and encouragement. I really appreciate it, and I'm hoping to make a decision soon. I do think that if we decide to call her Caroline, we would still keep it as her middle name, and not change it officially. I never thought it would be this hard, once I decided to consider it.
Jill--Hi! I'm so glad you said hello and posted a comment. It's good to "see" you! If we ever decide to sell the denim couches, you'll be first on my list! :)
Sorry I am a little late to comment. This is a hard one. I think a lot of people get called a lot of different names. Take my husband for instance. His "official" name is Charles and no one EVER calls him that. His family calls him Charlie and his friends call him Chuck. I think if you love Caroline go with it. Especially since you said she is somewhat used to you calling her that. It's not like you are coming up with some name out of the blue that she has never heard. I do think Kate and Emma sound cute together...but really that is such a small reason to keep calling her Emma. Good luck in your decison!
I think that Emma and Kate sound so sweet. I would think if you change it to Caroline then Kate needs to be Kathrine or something.
Really though a family in my old ward did this when there daughter was about your daughters age. It worked just fine. I don't think anyone even thinks of her as her old name. People did talk though...but who cares about that. Do what feels best.
I will have to say I am partial to Emma(gee...I wonder why?:)
I like Emma-Caroline. I think that is GORGEOUS! But I know where you are coming from. I regretted not naming my second dd Kate (though I do like her name - Lana) and so I had to use it on my third dd.
It's hard as a mom to second guess that name forever. I say do what you feel is best. But I love Emma and Kate together. (I love that you have a Kate too!)
P.S. I LOVE your blog. Do you care if I just add it to my blogroll cuz that just makes it easier to find you?!:)
Hi! I just ran across your blog and saw your dilemma. I too, named my daughter a name that I didnt want to name her, really. Catelyn is a great name, but its very common. I wanted to choose the middle name because it was sentimental and i didnt want it as a first name. I gave my husband the chance to change the name just days before she was born. First, it was going to be Carrie Cresteen..then I opened my fat mouth and he said he liked Catelyn Cresteen. I said NO. Then, i felt bad because I chose the middle names of both of my kids and pretty much insisted on it being their middle names and didnt give him a chance to say anything....so i gave in. Catelyn is almost 2 and to this day, I regret my decision to go along with my husband on that name. I would have chose Shelby, Macy, something else. But, I figure whats done is done, it IS her name regardless of my feelings now. Her sister and I call her Cate or Catie, but Ive never heard my husband call her anything but Catelyn. He loves the name, i just wish it wasnt SO popular. People say "Whats her name?" and I said "Catelyn" their responses are the same "oh...thats pretty"..they might as well say "oh, ive heard that name a hundred times today". Anyway, sorry for rambling here, I just know how you feel! I think that calling her by her middle name would be better than actually changing her name. Alot of people call their children by their middle names =)
Post a Comment