{acceptance and a solution}

We've all heard the phrase "a time and a season".  You know, things like family history, sleeping through the night, going to the grocery store during the day, and actually listening in Sacrament Meeting into that category of "not right now".  There are other things too--and they can be the things that are sometimes harder to accept.

 Even though I have a lot of really little kids, I've tried not to let that stop me from doing things and going places. I don't want my little ones to miss out on really fun things that I know they would enjoy, or wait until they are older to start doing them. 

I know I do less than I would if their ages were spread out more--maneuvering 4 kids ages 3 and under (when the boys were born) was really hard, and still is, even now that they are 5 and almost 2. I really try and think of all the logistics, and if there is a possible way, I usually will do it. 

I have wanted to get a summer pool pass for a few years now, but there was NO way I could take all the kids to the pool by myself.  They were just too little to keep on eye on all the time, and having 2 babies in arms meant no arms for Kate and Emma.  I've watched my friends get them, and enjoy their summer days basking in the sun and watching their kids swim. I had to remind myself that they have all older kids, with maybe one little one to watch closely, and that my time would eventually come.

I thought this might be the year I could attempt it.  Jack and Henry have been pretty timid around the water, and figured they would stay close to me--in the water that's very shallow. The girls are comfortable in the water, and with life jackets on, could stay in the kiddie area where I would be very close by. I had it all planned out in my head, and I was excited to give it a try.

This past week I decided to give it a trial run.  I loaded up the kids and met my good friend and her kids at the pool.  Our husbands were coming later with dinner, but we would be on our own for a little while. It actually went really well, and we were having a great time.  Once Rick got there, it was even more fun, because we could split up the kids, and take them into the deeper end.  Jack and Henry were in their element--and even my Henry, who was scared of the water at first, was all of a sudden everywhere, and having a great time.  Kate and Emma really wanted to spend time in the deeper water, and although they loved the toddler area too, they loved the freedom and openness of the larger area.  I started to wonder how that would be if I was by myself--they were much more active in the water than I had realized.

A little later in the evening, as we were getting close to leaving, and after my friend's husband had left, something really, really scary happened, and it resulted in my friend rushing her son to the hospital. (It also required me going  in to a Stake High Council meeting in front of 30 people in my swimsuit to tell her husband what had happened...lovely) It was no one's fault--there was no neglect or anything like that--it just simply happened. My heart didn't stop beating all night, and when they came to pick up their other kids in the morning (who stayed with us while their parents were in the hospital), I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

What it also did was really make me stop and think. If something like that could happen under all the right circumstances, what could happen if I was alone?  Could I really keep an eye on 4 very small children, all at the same time? As much as I want to do everything, and not limit myself, sometimes there are limits that are important and necessary, and for me, this is one of them.   

Sometimes accepting what a "time and season" includes is hard, but it doesn't always have to be all or nothing.I think we might still get that pool pass, and just go in the evenings and on Saturdays when Rick can be there too.

I've always been a believer that the key to finding joy in motherhood is not just enjoying the moment of life you're in, but relishing it. The day will come far too soon that they will be all grown up, and I will be wishing that I had those little ones there with me.