{six}

I know I already spilled the beans on Facebook, but I can give more details here:)  

I have to admit, it still seems very surreal that I'm telling everyone we are having another baby.  If it wasn't for the ever expanding waistline, how SICK I was for three months, and the increasing fatigue, I think might be in complete denial. 

I NEVER thought I would be the one to have a surprise pregnancy--our history has just never provided me with the thought that it could or would occur. I'm feeling shocked and happy, but I'm saving the overwhelming part for after he/she is born. I'm sure it will come. It is truly mind boggling to me that I will have six kids, and that five of them will be six and under when the baby gets here. REALLY??? To think I had one child for almost eight years, and then to have five more in less years than that is crazy.  I'm living proof that you never know what your path is going to be, or why.

I'm a planner.  Those of you know me well know this to be true. I'm a Type A girl--I like things in order, and I like them to happen my way. I know, it might be unflattering, but it's the truth.  I had my whole life planned out, and you know, nothing happened the way I thought it would.  Instead of getting married after I finished medical school, and having kids a few more years down the line, I was 19 when I tied the knot. I didn't have the babies I wanted to have when I wanted to have them, and instead of children every few years, I as faced with the very long and difficult path of infertility and loss.  Those years were very dark, and I although I had faith that things would be as they were supposed to, it was still so hard to accept that something that was so right wasn't happening.

We don't always know why things happen in our lives, or why certain trials cross our path, but sometimes we are allowed a glimpse of the bigger picture.  My bigger picture now includes Kate, Emma, Jack, Henry, and this new baby, in addition to Ryan.  These children were supposed to come when they did, and I had to go through that difficult time in order for that to happen.  I can't even imagine any other family than the one I have now, it makes all those tears worth it.  How could I be anything but grateful for this miracle that has come into our lives, and that my plan wasn't the right plan?  God's plan is always right, even if we don't understand why. My struggles are going to be different now than they were before, but maybe all the chaos will do me good. :)  Controlled chaos.  Lol.

Everyone is excited.  We've asked all the kids if they think we should have a girl baby or a boy baby.  Emma is definitely for a girl, and when I asked her what would happen if it was a boy, she told me she would have to think about it. :)  Kate wants a girl, but is okay with a boy, too.  Jack and Henry insist on a boy, and so does Ryan, although I think a little girl would have him wrapped right around his little finger in about two seconds. We find out in about three weeks, and I can't wait to get started on the planning and preparation. Any predictions?

We have to make some major changes to rooms and bedrooms, and we have a list a mile long of things that need to be built and completed before the end of the year and busy season starts. I also got rid of everything baby related when we moved, so I guess I'll just HAVE to do some shopping. :)  At least we will still all fit in our Sequoia, because I really can't imagine myself driving a 15 passenger van.  ;)

I'm still running--slowly, but surely.  I had to take off during the time I was sick, and after three months, I've had to start almost from scratch.  Luckily it's come back pretty easily, but I'm definitely slower than I was before!  I've also been going in the mornings after the kids go to school, and pushing 100 pounds (most of it from Henry, lol) while running has given me even more of a workout! It just feels good to be up and doing something again, and since the weather is FINALLY cooling off, the mornings have been beautiful, and the perfect time to go. There is a half marathon in The Woodlands on March 2nd that I'm dying to run--I would be 37 weeks--think I could do it?  ;) 

I used to think people with six kids were crazy.  

I still do.  :)