{change}

I made hot chocolate this morning.

It was cold in the house, because I still haven't turned on the heater yet, and when I looked outside, it seemed like the perfect morning to make it. The weather is changing--getting a little bit colder every day, with more and more leaves dropping from the trees. Winter is coming, and while I'm bracing myself for the months of gray, I know that eventually spring will come, and the world will be bright and new once again.

We have even more changes going on in our house right now, and I hope that just like the changing seasons, once the hard (but necessary) months of gray pass, we will come out on the other side brighter, too.

............

Last week, my little Emma was diagnosed with celiac disease. Many of you may know what that is, or have a family member who has it, because it's quickly becoming one of the fastest growing (or rather, recognized) diseases of the decade.

It basically means that she is gluten intolerant, and cannot eat wheat, rye, oats, or barley. She is now on a gluten-free diet, which when followed correctly, will not only eliminate any symptoms, but actually heal the affected villi in her small intestine.

When you stop and think how many things have gluten in it, it can seem very overwhelming. Most processed or boxed foods, and even canned soups contain gluten in some form--many times contained in the added preservatives, such as modified food starch, monosodium glutamate, and maltodextrin. It eliminates cookies, crackers, bread, pasta, most cereals, pizza, and anything made with flour.

For a little four year old, it can be really hard to understand why she can't have the preschool snack that everyone is having, or why she can't eat the donuts at the cider mill. But, we have some things on our side, too. Emma is a very logical four year old, and has the ability to reason much more than any of my others have been at her age. When I explained to her that eating certain things made her tummy hurt, and that we really needed to stop eating them, she understood. She has taken to caramel rice cakes like nothing else, and loves that she has special boxes of rice pasta and granola bars that are just hers.

I'm not saying we're not going to have challenges, because they will most certainly come. Trying to cook a dinner each night that she can eat, and that everyone will enjoy will be tricky. Helping her through the birthday parties, preschool snacks, lunches with friends, school lunches, going out to eat, and the myriad of other times that this will be an issue is going to be hard. At some point, her reasoning will fall, and her emotions will come through. I know there will be times where both of us will be crying our eyes out, maybe even banging our fists at the sheer frustration and disappointment that will most likely come. And that's okay. But I'm hoping that if we focus on the positive things--on all the things we have to be grateful for--it might help us all through those difficult moments.

..........

I'm grateful that there is something we can do to help--that we have some modicum of control, and that I don't have to sit and wonder if she'll be okay. As long as the diet is followed, she will be healthy and happy. How fortunate we are, for this.

I'm grateful for parents that paved the way for me, and raised my brother and sister who also have it. I grew up in a home where we ate simply, but never knew it. My dad is the rice flour expert, and has already shared the secrets to yummy rice waffles. (which are actually really good!)

I'm grateful for an amazing doctor, who has been and will continue to be an excellent source of information and support.

I'm grateful for good friends and family, who are there for me when the times get tough, and are always willing to lend an understanding ear.

I'm grateful for Emma.