For a long time I wondered if the space between Ryan and any other children we might have would be too much, and that they wouldn't be able to develop the kind of closeness that I yearned for them. It wasn't all-consuming, just nagging--the kind that's always at the back of your mind.
I had always imagined having my children close together, and as the space got farther and farther apart, these wonderings became worries. I was one of 4 children, the oldest, with a space of only 5 1/2 years between us all. This was all I knew, all I could really draw any experience from.
Ryan was an only child, and as he got more independent, I knew the adjustment would become even harder. We became accustomed to going and doing, and he was at the center of our universe.
I did however, know what a sweet and sensitive boy he was, and how much he loved babies. I also knew that he would be a wonderful big brother, no matter the age difference, and that any siblings he had would be incredibly lucky to have him. These truths pushed away my fears, and when we were blessed with the miracle of two tiny baby girls, those worries were completely washed away--I wouldn't change the way things are for anything!
I know now that I was underestimating the true power of love, of family, and the sense of belonging. I have proof that the space in years has nothing to do with the space in our hearts.
.....
Ryan, holding baby Kate in the hospital
A happy brother
One of my very favorite pics ever--Ryan with Kate
This is the photo I used with the girls' birth announcement--I love it!
Ryan and Emma, happy with their snacks!
Love them!
I had always imagined having my children close together, and as the space got farther and farther apart, these wonderings became worries. I was one of 4 children, the oldest, with a space of only 5 1/2 years between us all. This was all I knew, all I could really draw any experience from.
Ryan was an only child, and as he got more independent, I knew the adjustment would become even harder. We became accustomed to going and doing, and he was at the center of our universe.
I did however, know what a sweet and sensitive boy he was, and how much he loved babies. I also knew that he would be a wonderful big brother, no matter the age difference, and that any siblings he had would be incredibly lucky to have him. These truths pushed away my fears, and when we were blessed with the miracle of two tiny baby girls, those worries were completely washed away--I wouldn't change the way things are for anything!
I know now that I was underestimating the true power of love, of family, and the sense of belonging. I have proof that the space in years has nothing to do with the space in our hearts.
.....
Ryan, holding baby Kate in the hospital
A happy brother
One of my very favorite pics ever--Ryan with Kate
This is the photo I used with the girls' birth announcement--I love it!
Ryan and Emma, happy with their snacks!
Love them!
4 comments:
It is amazing how much we as mothers worry about so many things. My two are four years apart. I would have never planned it that way but have loved how it has turned out. Sometimes the best things in life cannot be planned the way we think is best. You have a Beautiful family.
I too know how it feels to be far apart from my siblings and what you said about the space in your heart is completely true! There are 13 years and 15 years between my sisters and I and I love them to death!
And Ryan definitely is good with babies. I can testify that he is great with Brooklyn and she absolutely loves when he comes and picks her up or plays with her. He must be a fabulous big brother.
What cute kids you have!!! He looks like a great big brother to his little sisters. Maybe it is good that they are far apart. I have a brother that is 3 years older than me and he tormented me like crazy when we were little.
Hey you! I was so happy to get your e-mail about your blog. I love to read your updates and see pics of your beautiful children. Crazy how life has turned out since the days in the student ward. I am so happy you all are doing so well. I have missed hearing from you. Now there is really no excuse.
Love, Jana
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