{desperation}

It was only out of sheer desperation that I even considered the idea.

My usual plan of attack for grocery shopping is simple...wait until Rick's home. Then I take one child with me, and we make a day of it. If I need just a few things, Rick is happy to run by the store on his way home. However, neither of these things were an option, and my only recourse (if we wanted milk, fruit, bread, and eggs) was to bundle them up and take them all.

All four littles, to the grocery store? It's not even a matter of their behavior, which is generally very good, but it's all about the logistics. Where do I put them all? I'm really good at the push and pull...with two carts. I've had to do that plenty of times--two carseats in one, groceries in the other. Trying to push a big double stroller with one hand, and pulling a cart with the other proved to be a little more tricky than I thought it would be.

I started out with Kate pushing the cart, and staying right behind me, with one of my hands helping to guide it. That worked really well, until we added the milk to the cart. She couldn't move it very well at that point, and the turns made me a little nervous. I could just imagine the whole cart tipping on it's side, right in the middle of the main aisle. Bless her little heart, she was doing the very best she could, despite not being able to see over the handle!

Then it was all me. I grabbed the cart with one hand, and the stroller with the other, and started making my way to the checkout. It was slow going, because my hand wasn't strong enough to keep the stroller going straight. So, I had to stop every few feet and readjust. Kate was still behind the cart, doing her best to help. The boys were having a heyday, because there was nothing to stop them from grabbing anything and everything off the shelves, all along our way.

I am quite sure that every person in the whole store was staring at us. Believe me, I'm used to being the main act (of a circus, lol), and drawing a lot of attention, stares, and comments. In fact, I think I've heard it all. But---I knew it was bad when a store employee came up to me and offered to push the grocery cart for me. I'm usually pretty independent, and I don't accept offers for help very often (okay, probably some pride in there, too), but I jumped at her very kind offer, and we finally made it to the checkout with my groceries and children in tow.

It took over an hour to get less than 15 items, but we made it. We had milk, and bread, and fruit for lunch, and I had four happy children. My dignity was still fairly impact.

It was worth it.

{home}

(snuggling at bedtime...)

Me: What was the best part of your day?
Kate: Coming home.

.....

I couldn't agree more.

{ramblings}

Well, it's official. Busy season has now started. I'm trying to get myself mentally ready for the next 8-10 weeks, and not kill my diet with chocolate or treats in the process.

.....

This was just a week in the life--normal--but I love to document the every day, our daily comings and goings. Sometimes these are the best memories of all.

1. Kate has come up with two of our favorite family words--they were quickly adopted by everyone, even Rick and me. She calls stuffed animals "stuffies", and tater tots "teeter tots".
LOVE it.

2. Emma (and Kate) attended her first birthday party since her diagnosis. It was a huge success! They were going to Chuck E. Cheese (which they were super excited about, since it's not my favorite place), and having pizza and birthday cake. The birthday girl's mom is a very good friend of mine, and gave me the scoop on what kind of cake she was making. The afternoon of the party I whipped up her own gluten-free pizza, and her kind of frosted cupcakes (which were amazingly good--kudos to Betty Crocker Gluten-Free Cake Mix). She lit up like a Christmas tree when she knew she wasn't going to be "left out" (her words), and would get to have what the other kids were having. It was worth all the effort it took to make them, which really was no problem at all, it just required a little extra planning and preparation. They partied it up, and didn't get home until late that night. What a fun time they had!

3. I now make only one kind of pancakes...Emma's kind. After the kids tasted hers, they staged a rebellion, and let it be known they were far superior. I happen to agree--best pancakes I've ever had. One night, I made 40 pancakes, and with only the 5 kids eating, went through 35 of them. The babies each had 8, Emma had 7, and Kate & Ryan had 6 each. I know this happens with teenagers, but babies?

4. In my humble opinion, an 11:30am church time is WAY harder than 9:00am. It's not like I get to sleep in anyway, because none of my children realize that weekends are for that sort of thing. It's just harder to figure out meals, naps, when to get dressed, and the list goes on. Maybe I'll learn to appreciate it again when my kids are a little older, but for now, it's the longest three hours of the entire week.

(before church entertainment...while girls are getting ready)



5. TWO more weeks until my babies are in nursery! We have taken them in for the last couple of weeks to see how they would do, and they LOVE it. Are you kidding? How could they not? They are all about the snacks, and I have a feeling the ward is going to have to up the snack budget. They won't know what's hit 'em.

6. Ever heard of Zingo? I play it at least 5 times a day...everyday. My girls got it for Christmas and it is hands down one of their favorite things. They can play it together, or I can play with them, and it keep them entertained for a long time. It has received multiple awards--nationally and internationally--and I can see why. They also received a puzzle, or rather a box 0f 26 puzzles--one for each letter of the alphabet--and it's been permanently out of the game closet since Christmas.





7. Is it too early to be ready for winter to be over?

{real life, and decisions}

After being off for two weeks, Rick went back to work today, and we were back to real life once again. We worked hard the last week on several projects, and it was nice to check a few things off our list before busy season starts. I also tried to pack in things like hair appointments, errands, and buying as much craft stuff as I thought I needed for the next 2 months!

.....

I made a decision a little over a month ago to pull the girls out of preschool. Nothing was wrong--they loved school, the teachers, and their friends, but in the back of my mind, I knew it was right. The preschool is coop, which was great for several reasons--it was less expensive, which is especially important when paying for two kids, and it allowed me a glimpse into the classroom, and to observe my girls in that setting, which I love. It also meant having to "work" almost twice as much as the parents with one child, and finding someone to watch my boys each of those times. It wasn't always easy, in fact, finding a babysitter during the day can be quite difficult, and there were days when I wasn't sure until the last minute that I would have someone to watch them.

Mostly though, it was a very distinct impression that wouldn't leave my mind, and I knew I needed to act on it. I feel like my girls have had the least of my time out of all my children. I had years where it was just Ryan and me, but the girls were still really little when I was expecting the boys. I was down a lot during my pregnancy, and couldn't be as active as I would have liked, which meant less time for the them. Once the babies were born, so much of my time was spent just surviving, that I feel like I missed some opportunities to really spend time with and teach my girls the way I wanted to. Even just having them in preschool really affected the things we could do, and the places we could go, and also eliminated some other fun things that I would have loved for them to participate in.

In recent months I have really been struck by how fast my kids are growing up, and one of my worst fears is looking back 10 years from now, and wishing that I would have done more when I had the chance---when I had them home with me. Once they are in school full-time, that's it--they're gone every day, all day, almost all year long. I'm not going to say things don't get crazy, and often difficult with so many little ones at home, but I know it's right, and I feel peace about my decision.

.....

I have been greatly inspired by a good friend of mine that will be homeschooling her little boy, and has been really involved in teaching him and providing wonderful opportunities for him and her other children to learn and grow. She probably doesn't realize how much she has affected my outlook, and plan for my girls over the next months. I had a conversation with her just a few days after my decision, and though I knew it was the right one, I was still processing it all. I think the timing was fate, because I went away from it excited, and my mind spinning with ideas.

.....

Today was the first day of my new plan, and we had a such a wonderful day learning about nature. We headed to our local nature center, which has an absolutely fabulous learning center and observation areas. The girls looked at feathers through a microscope, analyzed the x-rays of many different animals, listened to nature calls, observed wildlife in the forest and river, read books, put together puzzles, learned about different skulls, and examined honeycomb. They begged to stay even longer than the 2 hours we were there, and honestly can't wait to go back. That's good, because we will be going once a week! Even the babies were entertained, especially by all the turkeys that stopped to say hello through the window.





When we left, the snow was falling, we were out in the middle of the most breathtaking wooded forest, and it was incredibly peaceful. That moment and the feeling that went with it was instantly filed away in my memory.

Even after only one day, I know it was the right decision.

{merry christmas}

To say this will be a Christmas to remember is an understatement...

We spent Christmas Eve day taking the kids out shopping for each other. They chose names at the first of the month, and were excited to pick out gifts. We were supposed to go earlier in the week, but were grateful everyone was finally feeling well enough to go. We headed to Target, and Rick and I split the kids up to go around and look. It took a little while of maneuvering, shifting packages from one cart to another, and a some coaxing, but everyone was happy with what they chose.

Our Christmas Eve tradition is to go out to eat, which is actually more of a gift to me. :) The kids love it too, and we don't go out as an entire family too often. After dinner we came home, changed into pajamas, and rounded up our Nativity props. They are very simple, but they do the trick! We assigned parts, and Emma became Mary, Kate the angel, Rick the donkey, Henry the innkeeper, Jack a shepherd, and Rick the ever faithful donkey. I assumed my usual part as narrator and camera operator. Once the boys' costumes were off in the first minute, we knew we would have one chance, one very quick chance, to go through it, and we were right. The shepherd was trying to ride on the donkey's legs, the innkeeper was playing with Legos on the couch, and the angel was too tired to stand up. I LOVE it. Really, all these things make it one of my favorite traditions, because it is a true picture of our family at the time.


After the Nativity, we put the babies to bed, then snuggled down to read the Christmas story (again--this time a little quieter), and a few more favorite stories. Cookies were then set out for Santa, and of course a bowl of sugar for the reindeer. Kids were tucked into bed, and Rick and I started our traditional night of wrapping and Christmas movies. We dug out all the gifts from their respective hiding places and got to work, then Rick went downstairs to put the final touches on the girls' dollhouse. Finally it was time for bed, and we were ready!

.....


This is when things got interesting. We had been hoping all week that Rick and I would avoid the sickness that invaded our house. Such was not the be. Late Christmas Eve night we both knew we were in trouble, and come Christmas morning we were both miserable. When the kids came in, we dragged ourselves out of bed. Rick kept the kids upstairs, while I got everything ready downstairs. Once they let me take their picture on the stairs, they were free to go to their stockings. It was craziness, but the best kind there is. Henry and Jack didn't really know what was going on, but they did recognize the candy. Pretty soon, Reeses PB cups were filling their mouths, and they were looking for more. Kate was ecstatic that Santa remembered her bunny, and Emma received another pig, just like she wanted. Ryan was happy, too!


Traditionally, we eat our Christmas breakfast before opening all the gifts, but Rick and I could hardly stand the thought of any kind of food, and didn't have the energy to cook. So, we forged ahead and started opening--we didn't hear any complaints! Ryan was shocked by a gift (happily), the babies each got some of their favorite things, and the girls LOVED their dollhouse. Rick and his brother Robert really outdid themselves--it's beautiful! We call it the "Neopolitan House", because it's cream, pink, and chocolate brown. It includes a stained maple wood floor, arched doorways, barn-style shutters and door, and planked wood furniture. It was just so fun to see each of their faces when they opened something that they really wanted!



We spent the rest of the day just trying to survive, and I feel so sad that we weren't able to do the things we normally do on Christmas Day. The kids were troopers though, and we are looking forward to Rick having the next week off, so we can spend a lot of time together doing the things we love.

Despite it all, we were together, and were able to enjoy so many wonderful Christmas traditions and activities this year. Merry Christmas to each of you---we wish you the very best, from our family to yours!

{five down}

Well, this blog is a chronicle of the good, bad, and ugly, and this is most surely teetering on the edge of ugly.

Last night at midnight, the stomach flu hit child number one (Emma). It wasn't long before Kate, Jack, and Henry joined her, and we spent a lovely night sleeping on the floor, doing laundry, giving baths, and holding buckets. We were hoping Ryan had avoided it, but by 11am we were picking him up at school and by the time we hit the garage he was officially the fifth one down.

It's actually pretty scary with Ryan, because being sick and throwing up can cause him to go into DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis), which is extremely serious and can be life threatening. He was hospitalized for a week two years ago, because of this very thing. It takes a lot of monitoring and a medicine usually taken by chemotherapy patients to prevent emesis.

I've never had all of my children sick at the same time, and it's been a long, hard day. There are at least two things to be grateful for:

1. Rick wasn't working, so he was home to help. It would have been a nightmare trying to do it on my own.

2. It happened on December 22nd, and not the 24th or 25th.

Tomorrow is Rick's birthday, and hopefully we'll be celebrating without towels and buckets. :)

{bronner's christmas wonderland}

There is something magical about Bronner's Christmas Wonderland. How could there not be? A building the size of almost six football fields, filled to the brim of everything Christmas? There really is nothing like it, and we love having the world's largest Christmas store within our reach!

It's another tradition we look forward to every year, and the kids loved it. The babies were transfixed, and it wasn't hard to keep them entertained. Ryan and the girls quickly found their favorite ornaments and trees--a black cat like Lily for Kate, an electric blue tree for Ryan, and a pink tree and pink pig like Wink Wink for Emma.



Kate also found a new love...a stuffed white bunny. When we left the store without it, she declared herself "miserable", and told me she "had lost all hope". It really was quite dramatic, and of course, totally pulled at my heartstrings. She never talks like that about anything in stores, so I knew she must really love that bunny! Let's just say we have connections with Santa Claus, and I think she'll be happy come Christmas morning!

It was a late night getting home, but Rick and I so enjoyed the drive. It was snowing, Christmas music was playing, and all the kids were asleep in the back. Perfect ending to a perfect day!

{dear santa...}

Friday afternoon we headed to The Santa House, which is Santa's home away from home, you know. It certainly is cold enough here to make him feel right at home! Rick ended up having to work later than he thought, but we were so glad Uncle Robert was there with us!

The girls prepared by writing their letters that morning, and to say it was an experience is an understatement. (Especially for Robert, who helped them!) Emma went through at least 5 drafts, and that's probably on the low side. She wanted it to be just right, and finally she was pleased with the result. Kate knew exactly what she wanted, and wrote hers in 5 minutes. Ryan gave me his list a couple of months ago--all sectioned out into subcategories, and including all the specifics. What can I say--he's definitely my child. :)

We timed it just right, and when we walked in, we were able to take our traditional sleigh picture right away, and then head right over to Santa and Mrs. Claus. The girls put their letters in the pile, and all the kids signed the guest book. Kate went first, and told Santa just want she wanted. Emma was a little shy, but finally with the coaxing of Mrs. Claus, talked to Santa about her list. Jack couldn't stop staring, and Henry wanted no part of any of it. Santa tried to coax Ryan into coming to sit on his lap, but he preferred to watch from afar.



After bidding Santa and Mrs. Clause a Merry Christmas, we walked down the street to one of our favorite pizza places, where Rick was able to meet up with us. It was especially fun to have Robert with us, and now he knows what having five kids is like. :)

.....

6 more days until Christmas...Santa Claus is coming to town!

{kindness}

There are so many good people in this world, and I have been touched with kindness in really big ways this week. My heart is still feeling full, and I wanted to express my thankfulness for people that are willing to go out of their way to help someone.

They are my little Christmas miracles.

.....

Rick had a conversation a couple months ago with a man that works for his firm--although in a different division, and in a different town. He also has a child with celiac disease (and Type 1 diabetes as well), and understood our struggle to find certain replacement items (that actually taste good) for Emma.

Last week Rick came home with a plate overflowing with gluten-free Christmas goodies that this man's wife had made--chocolate covered Oreos and pretzels, frosted sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and gingerbread cookies. You should have seen my little Emma's face, when I told her that they were for her, and she could eat every one! Honestly, I just about cried, it was so incredibly thoughtful. Everything was delicious, and I am thrilled to know that I can now make yummy sugar cookies for Emma too. She also included product information that I know will prove invaluable, and I'm looking forward to trying all the recipes!

I am so grateful for their kindness, which I know we will be feeling for a long time to come.

.....

I went Christmas shopping tonight. It was crazy busy, but I just had a few things left on my list, and I was anxious to get them purchased. I left the store, fought the snowy, cold wind, loaded my items in the trunk, and hopped in the car. I had several more stops to make, and I was just wanting to be home and cozy in my bed.

I was actually driving Rick's car, because he had all the kids with him. I rarely drive it, and had totally forgotten that his lights aren't automatic, like mine are. The result? A dead battery. My heart sank, and I turned to grab my cell phone out of my purse to call Rick. Then I remembered that not only was he not home, but that I had his cell phone, because mine died--leaving him without one. I was stuck.

All of a sudden, there was a woman at my window. I opened the door (since the automatic windows wouldn't work), and she asked if my battery had died. I answered in the affirmative, and she told me that when they parked next to me, they saw that my lights were on, and wondered if I would need help. When they saw that I was leaving, they sat in their car, and waited to make sure I was okay. I couldn't believe it. It's like they were angels, sent straight from heaven to help me. Her husband grabbed the jumper cables, and we popped our hoods, only to find that our batteries were on opposite sides, and the cables wouldn't reach.

Then a woman that was parked across from me asked if she could help. She hopped out of her van, and tried to pop open the hood. It was the first time she had attempted to open it since it had been in an accident, and she wasn't able to make it work. Then a man shouted from the next row over, saying he had extra long jumper cables, and if the woman in the van would move, he could try and get close enough to help. The woman in the van kindly moved out of her very close parking spot so he could park there. Finally, another man (and mechanic) from another row in the opposite direction came over to assist. Within 10 minutes, I was on my way home. (along with some fantastic car advice...)

It could have been, and would have been a very different scenario if these lovely people (from all walks of life) hadn't stopped to see if I was okay. I can't stop thinking about how small acts of kindness can make such a big impact, and I know that I will be looking for ways I can pass that kindness along.

It really is a season of miracles, and I've discovered they come in all shapes and sizes.

{the great escape}

I'm in big trouble.

Rick stayed home today, so he got up early with Ryan to take him to school, and took the girls with him. I heard the babies rustling around a little bit in their room, but since they were quiet, decided to stay in bed for just a few more minutes.

Have you ever had that sudden feeling where you know something is not quite right? It was just too quiet, so I got up out of bed and went to investigate. I walked into the nursery, and there was Jack, but NO HENRY. He was not in his crib, nor in his room anywhere. Panic overcame me, but I was trying to sort all the possibilities. Maybe Rick took him? No--he would have said something. Rick's brother is here for a few days--maybe he got him? No. His door was still shut, and he wouldn't have taken only one of the babies.

I walked downstairs, and what do I see? One little Henry B., as happy as can be, playing with the Little People Nativity set. I had an escapee on my hands.

He had climbed out of his crib and walked downstairs, as big as you please. I put him back in his crib, to see how he did it, and he was kind enough to demonstrate. He is 16 months old, and WAY too big for his own good. I cannot have a baby out of a crib this young! Seriously--I need to figure something out, quick.

Do they make crib covers? Maybe we could cut the mattress in half--that would give us at least 2 inches and another couple of months. Lol.

*Update: After he escaped again at nap time, I bought a crib tent and paid for one day shipping. I couldn't find one within 50 miles of our town, and I can't wait! Rick told me we're going to wrap up the box and put it under the tree. Merry Christmas, Henry!

{snow day}

It's going to be a white Christmas!

We were really hoping that at least a little snow would arrive before December 25th, and our wish was definitely granted. The first snow is always so incredibly beautiful, and I just love looking out my window and seeing all the trees covered with white.


The babies love being outside, but this was to be their first snow adventure. I couldn't get their snow clothes on fast enough--they were so anxious to get out there with Ryan and the girls. They kept on taking off their mittens, but once I tied them on with a little yarn, they were good to go! They rode around in their Little Tikes cars, and were pulled around in their red sleds. We finally had to make them come in--they would have stayed out there all day!



Ryan and the girls helped Rick make a snowman that they dubbed "Frosty". We've been reading about him for the last week or so, so it was the perfect name. They were out there for hours, and it was so fun to watch them enjoy it so much. Hot chocolate warmed everyone up once inside, and we decided there really is nothing like the first snow of the season!

{the snow queen}

Last year I had so much fun taking Kate & Emma to the Nutcracker, that I jumped at the chance to take them to a play this year at the Center for the Arts. There is just something about getting all dressed up, and going to see a stage production. I have always loved it, and I really want to share that with my kids.

The girls did really well--considering it was 2 hours and 45 minutes! It was way longer than we thought it was going to be, but they loved seeing the snow queen, princesses, and girls in tutus. The sorcerer was just scary enough for them to ask me if it was real (Emma was concerned he was coming after her next), and both girls enjoyed naming everyone in our family and which part they would be. I was the Garden Woman...not sure if that was a compliment or not, lol.

Up next? The 12 Dancing Princesses is in March, and I can't wait!

{evidence}

Dear Emma,

If you are going to write on the couch with permanent marker, I suggest you write something other than your name.

Love,
Mom

{happy holidays...1 year old style}

1. The stockings lasted all of one day...if that. It's the heavy stocking hangers! One little pull on the stocking just within reach, and down it all comes--right on top of their head. ER visits would not make our Christmas merrier, lol.

2. A shepherd from our Nativity set nearly was burned to death after being placed in the stove burner.

3. The advent calendar full of candy is a big hit. It hangs in the hallway, which they pass at least 42 times an hour---pointing and squealing. They don't really get the "once per day" concept.

4. Usually the tree is a huge issue, and this year I tried to keep ornaments on the bottom half to a bare minimum. However, we got a type of tree we've never had before, and it is SO poky. Even though I don't love it, it might be worth it--the boys don't touch it!

5. There will be no presents under our tree until they are in bed Christmas Eve. Yikes.

These boys are darling. I love them to pieces. I can't wait to see what they think of Santa Claus!

{o christmas tree}

Cutting down on our own tree is probably one of my favorite traditions, and having our family here this year made it even more special. The tree farm that we usually go to was closed this year, and we were all pretty disappointed. However, there was another one to too far from us that offered some of the things we love, and so we headed there on Saturday afternoon.

It was cold, but the sun was shining, and the wind wasn't as fierce as had it been the last couple of days. We were all bundled from head to toe, and I don't think there is anything much cuter than chubby cheeks stuffed inside a snow hat!

After riding on the horse-drawn wagon around the tree farm, we went to pick out our tree. Some years it takes a long time, and other years just a few minutes. I thought it would take a little longer this year, but we found it fairly quickly. Ryan helped his dad cut it down with the saw, and we were ready to head back. While the tree was being shaken, baled, and drilled, we headed inside to enjoy the warmth. They had some really cute trains set up, which the kids loved.

Cutting down a tree makes you hungry, of course, so we all went out to get pizza at one of our favorite places. It was just so fun--all of us together, and enjoying a perfect day.